


The (unfortunate) adventures of Puppet Black Hat

by PulledASneakyOnYa



Series: 😎Gangsta's Paradise💋 [1]
Category: Baldi's Basics (Video Game), Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Comedy, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Musicals, Puppet Black Hat is a lil' shit, Tragedy/Comedy, Weird Plot Shit, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-11-13 21:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PulledASneakyOnYa/pseuds/PulledASneakyOnYa
Summary: Puppet Black Hat is a wild boy. He a pimp.





	1. 😭 BLACK HAT FUCKING DIES 😭

Black Hat peered out of the window. The trees and grass were all vibrant green, as green as Demencia's hair. The sun was out, shining amongst everything. Black Hat's one good eye glanced to the sun and he recoiled with a loud hiss. He hid behind his coat and slithered out to the living room, which he regretted immediately when he heard a loud screech, a screech so haunting he can only describe it like a hyena, honestly. Flug was glitching through the map, his body proportions all wack.

"Stop eating my legos!" he cried, "Please, stop!" he pleaded some more. Black Hat rose a brow and followed his sight of direction down to the ground. The Black Hat puppet had legos in his mouth, his jaw clamping open and shut, he had Demencia in a choke hold and a Glock 9 to her head.

"Shut uP!" The Puppet demanded, he sounded like Black Hat. He...Was Black Hat. In a sense, just like how all those clones were Black Hat. Not him, him, but a version of him. Demencia ree'd,

"Blacky, help! Your crazy Puppet is holding me hostage!"

The Puppet looked over to Black Hat, who stared back blankly. The Puppet jerked violently, causing Black Hat to flinch back.

The puppet pointed its gun to Black Hat, "You got near me and I'll screw you up," The puppet flailed aggressively. Black Hat turned back to Flug who was now on the ground, laying in his own tears and sweat, crying.

"My Legos!"

Black Hat hurried over to the doctor, "It's just Lego, we can get you more Lego," Black Hat knelt down by Flug, "Stop crying. I'm rich, remember? I can buy more legos." He scooped the mass of gross sobbing in his arms, Flug sobbed.  
  
  


"It's not the same." He argued, "It's not, it's not the same."  
Black Hat glanced to the puppet, who continued to clamp it's jaw open and shut with Legos in his maw. "I know, Flug...But, we must let it consume the Legos." Black Hat pat the paperbag.   
Black Hat dropped Flug onto the ground and let him drown in his tears, "Let go of my hitwoman."  
  


"Give me something."  
"What?"  
"Give me something and I'll consider it."  
Black Hat hissed, "What could you possibly want?"

The Puppet continued to flap its mouth open and shut until all the Legos fell out and clattered on the ground. "I want...You dead."  
Everyone gasped, including the puppet Black Hat who had just said that.

"Are you kidding me?! What- Why?! What did I do to you?!"

"Nothing, but there can only be one Black hat."  
"I AM BLACK HAT, YOU'RE JUST A PUPPET."  
The puppet pressed the gun against Demencia's head, "I BEG YOUR PARDON?"  
  


"No! I am not dying. Kill her! See if I cared!"  
"Then why were you trying to bargain?!"

"She is the only one in this place who feeds my ego! I'll find someone else!"  
Demencia screamed, "NOO! BLACKY! I LOVE YOU."  
  


The Puppet Black Hat and the real one both cringed, "Thats gay."  
"Yeah, yeah it is." Puppet Black Hat nodded,

Flug chimed in, "That is so gay."  
The three nodded and Demencia shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess...Besides, I can't love you because in my fanfiction you marry Flug."  
Black Hat looked from Demencia to Flug, "What- That thing?" He pointed to Flug, "That's not- ...Thats honestly sad." Black Hat grimaced. He walked to the Puppet, "Kill me. I am depressed."  
  


The Puppet let go of Demencia, who scuttled away on all fours to go chew on Flug. "Mm! Salty!"

Black Hat sat down and the Puppet clambered onto Black Hat's shoulder.

"Any last words?" The Puppet asked.

Black Hat sighed, "Yes, just give me some time to think. I didn't think I would die today."  
The puppet nodded, "Okay. Take your time sweetie, no ones rushing you <3" 

Black Hat spoke up, once again. "I've lived for countless years. After a while, everything got boring. Repetitive. Nothing made me happy." He admitted, "Then I made this organization..." He looked to Flug and Demencia, "And it awoke a hatred inside of me...So strong. I spent every day for years with you guys-" He halted, "I guess what I'm trying to say is..."  
They awaited his final words,   
  


"I hope you all get hit by a train. See you in hell, jerks."  
He closed his eyes, and Flug and Demencia turned away as the Puppet pulled the trigger. As they turned back, Black Hat hit the ground. Lifeless.

The two employees both started applauding, tears in their eyes.

"Oh- That was beautiful," Flug praised, "I couldn't have said it better myself." He admitted. Demencia nodded, wiping her eyes with tissues.

"I know right? He was always a genius with words."  
"Yep, yep, he sure was."  
  


The Puppet did a dance on the corpse, singing a Dora song. "We did it! We did we did it, yeah we did it!" 

And from that day, things would change.

Demencia lost the love of her life, Flug also lost the love of his life somehow and everyone lost the love of their life that day basically.

 


	2. 💋💋 No uglies allowed, honeys. 🤑🤑

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puppet Black Hat performs a musical number

Flug opened his eyes slowly, dreading the fact it was morning. He looked to his clock and felt like dying. He had a few minutes before his alarm went off! He halted as he heard his door creak open. He began to sweat and shake in fear. He felt something get on his bed and he stilled in pure terror. 

"GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT, WON'T SOMEBODY HELP ME CHASE THE SHADOWS AWAY? GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT  TAKE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS TO THE BREAK OF DAY!"

 

Flug flailed and let out a high pitch scream, the Puppet Black Hat only got louder, "MOVIE STARS FIND THE END OF THE RAINBOW WITH A FORTUNE TO WIN ITS SO DIFFERENT FROM THE WORLD IM LIVING IN! TIRED OF TV!"

Flug did the only thing he knew how to do; Weep. "STOP, PLEASE. THIS IS AGONY."

  
"I OPEN THE WINDOW AND I GAZE INTO THE NIGHT, BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE TO SEE NO ONE IN SIGHT, THERE'S NOT A SOUL OUT THERE..."

"please! my organs hurt, stop!"  
  


"NO ONE TO HEAR MY PRAYER!!!!!!"

Flug screamed for help,

"GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT WONT SOMEBODY HELP ME CHASE THE SHADOWS AWAY? GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT TAKE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS TO THE BREAK OF DAY GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIIIGGGHHTT AAAAAA GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHTTTAAAAAAA OOHH."

 

Demencia ran into the room

"theres not a soul out there...No one to hear my PRAAYYEERRR GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT WONT SOMEBODY HELP ME CAHSE THE SHADOWS AWAY???? GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT TAKE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS TO THE BREAK OF DAY GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE A MAN AFTER MIDNGIHT WONT SOMEBODY HELP ME CHASE THE SHADOWS AWAY" 

Through the Puppet's blasphemous singing, she had tried to get rid of it, but it pulled out guns on both of them.

"YOU TWO, WILL LISTEN TO ME WHILE I AM SINGING!" It ordered.   
  


"Why are you doing this?!" Flug asked, desperately. The puppet cackled,

"Because fuck you!"  
  


and Demencia & Flug had to endure the puppet singing every song from Mama Mia that day.

 


	3. kindereggs <3 ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flug loses his sock and puppet black hat gives him mad

Demencia hummed, her face scrunching up in confusion. "Are you sure you're playing this right?" She asked. The Puppet Black Hat nodded,

"OF COURSE I AM." he slapped a card down, "UNO."

Demencia screamed, "No!"  
"HAHA YES! Pay up, bitch."  
Demencia whined and complained, but slid over the last grape to the puppet. He began to chomp on it, much to Demencia's dismay. She couldn't help but cry,

"You aren't even eating it!" She yelled, "You're just crushing it with your jaw!" 

"Shut the heck you!"  
  


The two stopped in their tracks as a loud ruckus came from upstairs, the grape fell from the Puppet's mouth and bounced. "What was that?" Demencia asked. And on cue, Flug came yeeting down and into the room,

"WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY SOCK?" He snapped, radiating anger off of him.

"What? I don't know," Demencia gave a confused look.

"You wear socks?" 

Flug inwardly screamed, "YES, I WEAR SOCKS. WHERE ARE THEY? THIS WAS YOUR DOING WASN'T IT?" He picked the puppet up and shook it violently, "TELL ME WHERE IT IS YOU MENACE! TELL ME NOWWW!!"

"No!"  
"YOU ADMIT IT. WHERE IS IT?!"  
The Puppet clamped it's jaw shut and let out muffled screams as Flug continued to strangle it. "WHERE IS MY SOCK?"

"YOUR SOCK. IS IN THE FREEZER."

  
"Why-"  
"I froze it in a cup of water."  
  


Flug yeeted The puppet away and bolted to the kitchen, Demencia picked the Puppet up.

"FLUG, THIS IS THE ONLY BLACK HAT WE HAVE, DONT CALL HIM A MENACE." Demencia frowned before kissing the elegant puppet who let out a scream of horror.

"YOU KISS ME AGAIN AND IM  GO IN G TO FUCK FLUG."  
"YOU WOULDN'T."  
"FANFICTIONS SAY OTHERWISE, HONEY." Demencia tossed the Puppet into the wall,

"EW ITS RETARDED."  
  


Flug returned with roller skates on, "SUP BITCHES IM BACK."

"You wErE GoNe?"  
Flug stopped and looked at Puppet Black Hat with betrayal. A sorrowful expression flickered across his face, he snatched the puppet from Demencia's cold dead hands and skated out the door.

"Where are you taking him?!" Demencia called out,  
"TO THE ZOO."  
HE SKATED, HE SKATED AS HARD AND FAST AS HE COULD UNTIL THEY MADE IT TO A LARGE BUILDING.

"Welcome to Church," Flug gestured to the building, 

The Puppet made a weird noise, "ew, a church. No take me to Mcdonalds."  
"What? No! You don't get a choice!"  
The Puppet vomited up eggs, "These are your children." He said, Flug, let out a disgusted noise and cringed at the eggs now in his hands. The Puppet leaned closer to Flug and whispered into his ear, "I'm going to get cigarettes." Flug slapped the puppet across the face.

"Liar! You're gonna leave for fifteen years! You bastard how could you think of abandoning your kiddens?!" Flug cringed again at the gooey eggs. More like tadpoles, honestly.

The Puppet thought, "I'm...Umm...I lied. Im going to...Im--Im gonna-"  
"Waht-"  
"Im gonna start a revolution." and he bid the doctor adieu and hovered away. Flug skated back home, holding the gooey eggs in his hand, (he dropped like, one.)

Once home, Demencia fell down from the cieling to him,

"WHERE IS HE???"  
Flug looked down to the eggs,

"He kinda...Gave birth to these eggs and said they were also my children?"  
Demencia's eyes widened, "YOU FUCKED MY HUSBAND?"  
"NO! I DIDN'T! i HONEST TO GOD NEVER DID I DONT KNOW HOW HE- ...DID THAT SINGING- WAS THAT ACTUALLY MAKING LOVE?"  
"WITH WORDS?" DEMENCIA ASKED.

HE NODDED.

"BUT I WAS THERE TOO!"

Flug nodded, "We're both the father!"  
Demenciae screeched in joy, "YES! LETS GO TAKE CARE OF THEM!"  
"Okay?"  
They went to google and Flug put them eggs into her hands, he ttyped on the keyboard how to raise eggs wikihow.

The two read through it, and Flug made an incubator, Demencia put them in and closed the lid, wiping her slippery hands.  She smiled at awe at them,

"Waht are we gonna call them?" She asked.

Flug shook his head, "I don't know?"

There was six eggs.

Demencia hummed, "Hey, do you know where 5.0.5 is? I haven't seen him lately." She commented,

 FLug let out a sharp gasp, "OH NO, I LEFT HIM IN ITALY!" He put on a hat and a tie, "I'LL BE BACK IM GOING TO ITALY TO GET HIM."  
Demencia stirred a pot of food, "Okay honey! Be back before dinner!" She chimed.

"You know i will!"  
And he left off to go to Italy. As the doors fell shut, Demencia became aware of how quiet it was. She turned and sat down, eyeing the eggs. Making sure nothing landed on them.

"Do you want to watch some television, babies?" She asked, she carried them to the couch and sat down with them on her lap, she turned the television on.

"Here is a show about some annoying fourteen-year-old superheroes, superheroes are like police officers, they're pigs. The best character is the Purple villain, Hawk Moth." She cooed, pointing at each character.

"Ladyburger, Chatbar noir, Swiper no Swiping girl version, HawkDaddy, Bird Lady, Barry the Bee, Verne the Turtle from Over the Hedge." She said, "And that girl- Lila, her real name is evil Dora. She's a great character and we all love her in this household."  
  



	4. ☠️insert dramatic anime scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see how the gang is coping

Italy was treacherous, flug learned this the hard way. it became apparent to him that if he wanted to make it to 5.0.5 he would need protection

a nd who better to protect him than White Hat the hero himself?So he dialed down 999 and after waiting like,, three minutes White Hat appeared with an apology for being three minuters lates

"Sorry I was late, Flug. Slug got his dick stuck in the trash compactor." He sighed, FLug nodded,

"Happens to the best of us i gues."  
White Hat hummed in agreement, "COuldn't you have just bribed Black Hat into coming to get 5.0.5?"  
"Black hat is dead"  
White Hats eyes widened "Wait, waht?! HOW? WHEN?"  
"Yeah, there i s this black hat puppet on the lose and he killed black hat." 

A look of dread and terror flickered across white hats features,

"Oh no, if he killed black hat that means he is more dangerous than black hat! has he killed anyone else?" White Hat asked,

"No? But- He kinda...Gave birth on my hands?"  
"Ummm what?"  
"He vomited out eggs onto my hands and said theyre my children?"  
"If he threatens you; use his children against him."  
"...OK thanks for the adviC- LOOK OUT!"  
  


The two ducked as a land shark swooped. As it flew off, they continued their walk, more cautious this time.

 

Off in the distance, the yc could ssee 5.0.5 he was feeding the homeless, 

"Aww, so c00t." White Hat cooed, patting 5.0.5. "Yep! Im proud of this mistake." Flug smiled.

White Hat looked at the sun, "Well, it's getting late," He said, "Come, I will take you two home." He smiled. The two followed him out of italy and back to black hats manor. they each said goodbye and 5.0.5 and demencia walked in the manor,

"WELCOME BACK GuYS I COOKED FISH." Demencia slammed down fish onto the table so hard the table broke  "ENJOY"

The three sat down and ate in awkward silence.

...

...

..

It was rare that the group would ever eat together, especially since Black Hat wasn't a rather...Friendly guy. However, he did have manners, so, they sometimes ate at the table. But, being here now? Knowing Black Hat was truly dead? ...It was awful. There was an empty seat at the end of the table and Demencia made the mistake of leaving a plate for him. Everyone ate in silence and Demencia stabbed at her food lazily. It was weird having him not here. She even had her elbows on the table, and normally, Black Hat would scold her about it. But, he wasn't here. And they needed to accept that...But they didn't want to. Sure, he was...A cruel villain but- They had all grown close to him! It had gotten to the point where Black Hat would allow Demencia to go off on her rampant shrine and sacrifices about loving him, he would compliment Flug's work, he would give 5.0.5 to the count of 10 to get rid of any animals he saved from Black Hat. 

...

Demencia couldn't help but frown. Her lips turned down in a pout, "...Do you think we can bring Black Hat back?" She asked. Flug shrugged,

"I'm not sure. This is a different case from humans, you know?"  
Demencia pushed her plate away, "Well, we should at least try, right?!" She was now on the verge of crying, she missed him dearly. "Wouldn't he want that?"  
"He would want us to stop being so pathetic and either sacrifice a limb for his amusement or leave."  
"Same thing!"  
And with that, she ran off to her room to go sulk. 5.0.5 nuzzled Flug,

"Yeah, it's ok...We'll figure this out, 5's." He smiled sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact; the Nickname 5's/five's comes from what my dad calls my pet bird 5.0.5. :)


	5. And evil day out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see what Puppet Black Hat is up to.

Puppet Black Hat was living it up man, he was rich as fuck! Men hated him; But strippers loved him and that was enough. Now, he was heading to a random future-seer or whatever, a psychic. The lady had a glowing globe on her desk, 

"Hello," SHe said dramatically.

"No."  
"OK, um, you here for some future telling?"  
"No I am here to fuck spiders."  
"..Please don't."  
"Bitch it was sa r ca sm."

She nodded and continued. She stared into the orb, "Oh no," She said,

"Oh no?"  
"Oh no.."

"Oh no as in oh no or OH NO or oh, oh no?"  
"Oh, oh no, oh no no."  
"Oh no..."

She slid the globe to the side, "Your father is in danger."  
"My what?"  
"Your father, your dad. Your papa." 

Puppet Black Hat shrugged, "I have a dad? His problem."

"No, he's in danger by someone greater, something with a lot of anger, something angry at you."  
  
"But everyone and everything is angry at me lol."  
"Just pay me and get out, go save your dad."

"Don't tell me what to do," The puppet Black Hat threw the money randomly and levitated outta there. nO he isnt going to save no one, hes a villain damn. His father would be A-OK. Hmm,

 he should probably go home. AND EAT THOSE EGGS.

 

  
  
  
  
   
  


 


	6. The White Knight speaks in hieroglyphics.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat thinks being dead sucks ass and he wants his hot body back!

Alan returned home after a long day of animating, only to see a dark figure in his house, wtf!!1!  
He would have been fine, but he recognized the figure and it scared him. "Black Hat, why are you in my house?" He asked,   
"I am dead and I need to possess something to come back and beat a puppet up."   
"Okay, Um, why not go find your body and possess that?"  
Black Hat scoffed, "I actually can't? I don't want the idiots back at the manor know I am here, besides, with that puppet around, i can't get inside." The two sat down at the table, and Alan sipped tea.  
"It was awful, I was having fun ok, but this girl named Karen kept taking the kids- THey weren't even mine but??? Still?? And I realised; If i am dead I cannot kill the dead so i need to come back alive." Black Hat explained, thrashing his arms about.   
Alan nodded, "How about get...One of the employees to help you?"  
"If Flug saw me, he'd either cry, scream or rip or confess that he's actually in love with me because who isn't?" Black Hat grinned, "And Demencia would scream and her ovaries would explode."  
Alan cringed, "Okay, then 5.0.5 it is! He's a good boi! He'll help!"  
Black Hat groaned, "But he's too friendly! He's so weird!"

"Ah-Ah-Ah, if you want your body back you need to work with the bear."  
Black Hat sighed and stood up, straightening out his coat.   
"It's time for bear."  
And with that, he said goodbye to his father and headed off to the manor.

He slipped in through the backdoor and saw 5.0.5, cleaning. He grinned and crept closer, "Psst!"   
The bear flinched and looked around until it spotted him, it's face lightened a big smile replaced it's look of confusion. Black Hat hissed at it, "Do you know where my body is?" He whispered The bear thought for a moment before replying,  
"👌"

Black Hat nodded, "Take me to it, now." He ordered, eyes narrowing.

"😌" He said before gesturing for the demon to follow him. They crept by the sides and passed by the living room, where Puppet Black Hat was shoving dynamite in Demencia's hair as she slept. They crept upstairs and made their way to, of course, Black Hat's BEAUTIFUL room!   
"👉✊👍" 5.0.5 smiled,

Black Hat rolled his eyes. "You could've just TOLD me it was in my room." He growled. 5.0.5 frowned,

"🖕" and with that rude gesture, the bear waddled off. Black Hat pushed the doors of his room open, everything was the same, except for his dead body laid out on the bed with glass case around him, like a dome. 

Oh boy , this might be more difficult than he thought...


	7. 👀✨✨👢the scheme 💢💥💦💯

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat works with a few clients to get his body back and we see how Flug & Demencia keep the eggs safe from the shenanigans puppet black hat gets up to!

"You guys actually arrived? what the fuck are you doing with your lives? It's like, two in the morning."  
Black Hat looked to his little group of villains. 

Mawrasite, Supreme Leader Bonnivet, Illuminarrow and Dark Phantom. They were the ones who arrived.

"Be grateful we came, you ghost." Dark Phantom said, "I could have just called over Bill Murray."

"Shut up," Black Hat snapped. He re-adjusted his hat, "Okay. All we need to do is get my body back from the forcefield it is in. It seems I personally, can't break it. Any suggestions?"

The group broke out in mutters and whispers. Illuminarrow turned back to the main villain,

"Why don't we hire a witch to break it?"

"I hate witches. They're so...Gross. I don't want to deal with them." Black Hat retorted, cringing. Supreme Leader Bonnivet chimed in, grinning.

"Get some nuclear bombs and nuke the thing!"

Black Hat clasped his hands together, "Genius! But we'll need to break in."

"I know a clown, we can get some high-quality balloon swords."

"Perfect! I would kiss you, but if I did you would get every disease and STD known to mankind."  
"Well, I will risk it." Supreme Leader Bonnivet said.

"( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

ANd a gorgeous and terrifying kiss was shared 😘😚 between the two villains.

"Aww," The group cooed. 

 

__

Demencia stood guard with kitchen utensils as Flug finished the fort. "Stop trying to eat the eggs, you-- You tard!" Demencia called out. She heard a faint reply from the puppet,

"Fuck off!"

Flug sat in the fort, holding the incubator carefully. 

The Puppet lunged at Demencia, She screeched and thrashed about, hitting the puppet with a pair of tongs. "AAAHh!!" The two continued to fight, Demencia using all her strength. 

"I will never let you kill my babies!" She bellowed.

"dfgd!asdfghytr! I AM HIGH ON ACID. NOTHING CAN STOP ME. I AM GOD."

And this was the beginning of war.


	8. 😨  NO, NO, WHYY??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the plan is put into action, it doesn't go as expected.

Demencia was batting Puppet Black Hat, but she was soon going to die as the puppet was strangling her. She blacked out.   
Puppet Black Hat headed for the fort but was cut off as a balloon sword was thrown forward. He backed up in surprise,  
"What the heck?"  
"Guess' who's back, back again." Black Hat grinned, with his little posse behind.   
"Are- ARE THOSE BALLOON SWORDS?"

"Yes, they are! COWER IN FEAR, YOU PLEBIAN!"

"You want a fight? Then you will get one!" Puppet Black Hat retorted. Demencia, feeling the presence of her love, scuttled over to him, alive and well. Flug had the eggs safe from harm's way, and returned to Black Hat's side. Black Hat scoffed,  
"There's seven against one, you muppet." Black Hat said. The Puppet didn't seem phased.

"Yeah? Then I guess it's even."   
The Puppet moved forward and shot a nuclear blast at the group, who all jumped out of the way, evading damage. Illuminarrow shot an arrow and The Puppet dodged it, swiftly. Supreme leader Bonnivet lunged forward, grabbing hold of the puppet and squeezing. A smoke bomb went off and her hands were then empty. The Puppet cackled, "I've re-programmed the Hat Bots, they listen to me!" He announced, before ordering the robots to head for them.

"Shit."  
Flug takes out a ray gun and shoots the ones sending them in shut down mode. Demencia jumps from a height and tackles the ones she can, biting and ripping the metal with her teeth. Illuminarrow covers for Supreme Leader Bonnivet and shoots her arrows aiming for their eyes. Mawrasite wraps her plants around them and squeezes until they explode from the pressure. Black Hat slinks away to get to his body.

It was where it last was; in all its glory. He'd be lying if he said his corpse didn't, in fact, look a lot more shallow than last time. Not to mention, it seemed his body was decaying and thinning. He held the nuclear bomb gun but halted in his tracks as he heard the sound of a gun.  
"I'd stop right there if I were you." The Puppet.  
"If you were in my place, you wouldn't stop."  
"True. Now, move aside."  
"Oh? What can you do? I am a ghost, remember?"  
"A ghost, perhaps, but I have a ghost killing weapon."   
Black Hat narrowed his one good eye and moved aside, whirling around to face the puppet before firing his gun at it. TThe Puppet jumped out of way and the bullet reflected on the wall (somehow) and came back, Black Hat moved out of the way and it hit the glass like a forcefield, causing it to shatter and litter the floor.

"Damn it!" The Puppet cursed meanwhile Black Hat let out a joyful (and evil) laugh. He could finally have his TOTALLY amazing and HOT body back!   
He possessed his body and opened his eyes, a terrible light filling his vision. He stood up and popped his bones, cracking the into place. With a tendril, he grabbed the puppet.  
"Fuck." Yes, the puppet has dun goofed. "What you gonna do? send me to hell??"

"Nope, somewhere _worse_."


	9. 😱  😱 worse than H. E. Double hockey sticks!  😢  👺

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet a place worse than hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited next chapter! I am so sorry it took so long, guys! My laptop drowned in Pepsi and I lost EVERYTHING, all my writing, all my games, all my art, all my memes, all my music and- Just, yeah, everything. It sucks, so I am using my mother's laptop for now. ffhhhafsehfnj .

How long had it been? Far too long. Puppet Black Hat found this the hard way. He had been sent to a town. A very, _very_ , tedious town. Was this what was worse than hell? The floor was made of lego pieces, it hurt to walk. Only one side of the headphones worked, both worked on a certain angle. It was horrid. He couldn't even make a coffee correctly. It was either too bitter, so he would add sugar, then it's too sweet. It also became too milky, or too un-milky. And? In this place? _He was lactose intolerant_ ,

Puppet Black Hat eyed his surroundings, the weather was either too humid, or it had a breeze, a breeze that didn't go well with the weather and made you want to punch an infant in the soft-spot on their head. As of now, Puppet Black Hat was floating still, afraid to move. Not while this cat kept trying to grab him.

It was as though, despite being in such a terrible place, someone was willing to grant the monster mercy, as something came and drop-kicked the cat across the room and it hit the wall with a deafening crack. Puppet Black Hat looked over to whoever had granted him the saviour. Whoever it was...Looked human, but, didn't?  
They were very tall, bald with a strand of hair, their eyes were big, they also had cherry-red lips. they had a green sweater, blue jeans and brown loafers. He also held a ruler in his right hand with those spidery-fingers of his.

"Stupid cat! That's for sitting in my box!" He waved his fist at the, now presumably, dead cat.

"How did you end up here?" Puppet Black Hat asked.

"I beat children. You?"  
  


"I've honestly probably done everything illegal."  
The bald guy- Baldi, Puppet Black Hat learned his name was- shrugged and nodded. "Fair enough."

The two walked and began to talk,

"What do you do here? I can't even find any bars that serve cold beer. It's always warm." Puppet Black Hat lamented, despite the fact he actually couldn't tell if it was warm or cold because he was a puppet who couldn't actually consume anything.

"I do what I want, I'm basically a fugitive to fugitives!" Baldi announced, proudly.

  
"Oh! Gr00vy! Where do you live?"

  
"In what used to be a school."

  
"Oh? What is it now?"

  
"my home." 

Puppet Black Hat nodded, "May I see it?"

  
"Sure thing, sirree!" 

And they both went to a big building, one story, that read 'here school'

"Nice. Very..."

"..."

  
"... _Very_..."

  
Baldi glanced to him, "Very mediocre?"

  
"I was going to say _quaint_ , but yes, that too."

  
"Yeah, the inside isn't too different, but, I do have a hooker palace!"  
  


Puppet Black Hat gasped, _HE HAD A HOOKER PALACE?_ "I love you"

  
"Thank you," Baldi replied, sincerely.

As thought, the inside was as well mediocre, but, there was indeed a hooker palace! yippee! There was a random principal who whistled, name was like, principal of the thing or whatever.

"I plan to escape this shithole- No offence-" Puppet Black Hat told,

  
"None taken"

  
"Wanna escape too?"  
  


"I mean, I wasn't planning on staying!" Baldi said with a shrug.

"We must begin scheming then!" The evil puppet grinned.

 


End file.
